I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
