Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
