i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
