just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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