I wish I only lived at night.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
