So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
