She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
