Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize