yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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