If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
