Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
