i permit you to call me
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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