he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Randomize
