I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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