i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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