Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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