Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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