Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
