Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
