Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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