Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize