Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I need to calm my uterus...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
