Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
