We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
