Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
