normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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