im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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