this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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