i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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