its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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