I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
