I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So much Jack, so little girl.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
