Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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