Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
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