Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
