so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
