just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The adults are the big ones right?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
