I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
