He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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