We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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