I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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