yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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