I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
