Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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