this beer tastes like vomit already
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize