Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
