how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
