My nipple is on Facebook.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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