glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
