I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
