I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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