separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
