Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Say something about gay babies.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize