Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Ambien. No doubt about it.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize