Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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