i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
