fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Randomize