did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
