i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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