I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
