Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize